Monday, September 29, 2008

6.5 Days and Hail to the Mother Fucking Redskins

The title of this post pretty much says it all.
I've almost made it a solid week without a cigarette and yesterday the Redskins played their final regular season game in Dallas's Texas Stadium... and they man-handled the 'girls. The 26-24 score is kind of misleading as the late touchdown really just put lipstick on the pig as the 'girls were OUT-PLAYED, OUT-SCORED, and (as always) OUT-CLASSED by the Skins.
And then... wow, this is hilarious.
In the post-game wrap-up LaVar Arrington kept referring to T.O. as follows:
"She got really frustrated at the end of the game."
"Her team lost and she got angry."

Way to call out the cunt, LA.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

C Plus 58 Hours

Holding strong.
Actually went to a bar Tuesday night on day one and got through that with little to no problems. I also went and mowed the back yard last night.
See, that was a big reason I quit smoking. It sucks having to stop and catch a breather a few times while mowing your fucking lawn.
Ran through the backyard after having been off the puffs for a couple of days.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Fuck You, Gateway... (I'm kind of a dick)

Look... I know I'm an asshole, here. I took out my anger on someone who didn't deserve it, but... what the hell, right?

Sherry_GWER7953 joined the incident.

Sherry_GWER7953 says:
Thank you for contacting technical support. My name and badge number are Sherry_GWER7953. Please hold while I review your issue.
Rob says:
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
Hello Rob
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
According to your submission and my data, the serial number for your Gateway system is XAB4811000237. Is this correct?
Rob says:
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
Thank you for verifying your information. I've read your issue description from the submission form. Do you have any more details that may help us?
Rob says:
Well, I hadn't used the system in about 6 months, I booted it up, there was a flash, a smell of ozone, and now the system will not boot, the drives don't appear to get any power, the fans don't spin.
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
Thank you for that information. Rob, since this is a hardware issue it's best to send the computer for service.
Rob says:
Can you send em parts? I'm A+ Certified, Network+, MCSE, MCSA, VCP, and CCDA. Plus I am certified by Gateway, Dell, HP, and IBM for hardware repairs.
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
Hold please,
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
Rob, I apologize we do not have the requested part available for sale, however we can provide third party companies who may have the part. You can get the parts from this link.
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
The link I sent is not controlled by Gateway. Please use it at your discretion.
Rob says:
You no longer provide parts for a desktop less than 4 yrs old?
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
We don't carry parts anymore here. All our parts are in TigerDirect now.
Rob says:
So, you use a ill-reputed catalogue company to supply parts for the computers you build in a garage and then sell in a pretty cow box? Come on... you can offer no support at all for the hardware?
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
Please contact TigerDirect for the parts that you need.
Rob says:
Look... I haven't had a cigarette in 15 hours, I've got a migraine, and I'm a bit concerned about a strange bump on my wang... now is not the time to tell my you won't support your own product's hardware.
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
Like I said we don't carry parts anymo here. Please contact TigerDirect for the parts that you need. TigerDirect is now our Gateway parts carrier.
Rob says:
"Anymo?" Really? I've contacted the Detroit-based Helpdesk? So, I suppose TigerDirect is going to enjoy taking my money, hmm? Will they honor the extended warranty?
Sherry_GWER7953 says:
It was a pleasure working with you. My name and badge number are Sherry_GWER7953. Thank you for using Gateway Remote Assistance and have a great day.
Sherry_GWER7953 has left the incident.
The technician has closed the incident.

Two Down, One to Go.

FUCK yeah.
More on this later.

C Plus 12:00:00

The cravings are constant, but dull - a light tightness in my shoulders and my head goes through waves of tingling...

9 Hours In...

The cravings are minimal and easily ignored.
The dull to sharp throb in the top right of center of the old brain pan sucks a steaming log, though.

Here's the shit part.... I had to let my boss know that he was an inadvertant prick of a glorious magnitude. See, he took off for vacation on Sunday leaving me to go shmooze and hobnob with local IT bosses and techs at this "Hey! Let's Get Together and Geek Out Over Beer!" type of thing.
I get free food.
I get lots and lots of free booze.
And it's tonight - you know... Day 1 of the no smoking thing?

And this fucking client of mine....
Mother fucker I fucking HATE cock holes who do a couple of quick google searches and auto-fucking-matically assume they know everything about every piece of technology and complet6ely ignore everything I say, have said, will say about a topic and demand the absolute wrong technology because it's got a cool fucking name and some dickhole cunt-whistle in podunk Des Moines gave it a good fucking review on C-Fucking-Net becuase it's the first gadget his fucking farmer boss ever fucking bought him.
Have fun with yoru new fucking toy, douche.
Don't say I didn't warn you.

Yep, cravings under control.
Attitude under control.

Friday, September 19, 2008

It's Getting Stranger

My eyes don't focus correctly. It's like the entire body high you get from beasters, but being completely sober.

It's Starting to Get Strange

The head is far from right this morning.
Strangeness abounds.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Double Down, Bitch.

Tomorrow I start really soaking my body in mind-altering chemicals designed to help me get off of another mind-altering chemical.
I know I had some dreams last night, but nothing too terrifying or outrageous.

I'm still fucking hazy - although not quite as bad as it was yesterday.
More to come.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Oh, Dell... How I Hate Thee

This is an automated email sent from Dell Chat. The following information is a log of your session. Please save the log for your records.
Your session ID for this incident is 22033704.
09/17/2008 02:16:43PM Session Started with Agent (AES Brandon W)
09/17/2008 02:16:48PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "Hello, thank you for contacting Dell's Enterprise Chat Support. My name is AES Brandon W. Once the chat session is completed, a transcript will be sent to XXXXXXXXXX. Please give me 2 to 3 minutes to access your system details and contact information."
09/17/2008 02:16:57PM Rob xxxxxx: "No problem"
09/17/2008 02:18:37PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "How can I help you today? Please provide as much information as possible, such as error messages, symptoms, and any troubleshooting steps that may have been taken up to this point."
09/17/2008 02:19:20PM Rob xxxxxx: "Well, I just wiped the box clean with a goal of installing Windows Server 2008 to it, but I can't find a driver for the CERC2s that will work with that OS."
09/17/2008 02:19:30PM Rob xxxxxx: "Do you have an updated one lying around somewhere that I'm not seeing?"
09/17/2008 02:19:53PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "Let me check on that for you. Give me just a moment to create a case for you."
09/17/2008 02:20:05PM Rob xxxxxx: "Right on"
09/17/2008 02:21:33PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "Your case number is 5553032 . Please reference this number if you need to contact technical support again on this issue. Alternatively, you can reach me at Make sure you include the case number in the subject line."
09/17/2008 02:22:32PM Rob xxxxxx: "Will do"
09/17/2008 02:22:45PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "Thanks for waiting. I checked on that for you and Windows Server 2008 is not a tested or certified operating system for that Server. A list of the tested and certified systems can be found here:" en/os_certifications?c=us&l=en&s=corp
09/17/2008 02:23:14PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "Unfortunately since 2008 is not a supported OS on the SC420 we do not have drivers for it."
09/17/2008 02:23:20PM Rob xxxxxx: "Meaning that no driver will be released for it?"
09/17/2008 02:24:23PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "Dell itself will not be releasing drivers for that server. I checked another resource and i found that the CERC 2s is not supported in 2008."
09/17/2008 02:24:40PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "So there will be no drivers for 2008 for any other servers that use that controller."
09/17/2008 02:25:29PM Rob xxxxxx: "Well, hell... that eats a dick."
09/17/2008 02:25:34PM Rob xxxxxx: "Thanks!"
09/17/2008 02:25:38PM Agent (AES Brandon W): "Windows 2008 is a very demanding OS and the SC420 did not meet the requirements for logo certification by MS."
09/17/2008 02:26:17PM Session Ended

Flicker, Flicker, Flicker

And I don't mean the website.
I was standing outside leaning against the tailgate of my truck, deep in conversation on my cell, and idly smoking a cigarette when I realized I was staring at the bed liner. It's one of those drop-in ridged deals, but the ridges were... well, oscillating and flickering.
This was cool.
I stared at it for quite some time before I realized I had almost lost track of the conversation - not a good thing (more on that in the weeks to come).
Very bizarre.

"Punch Me in the Fucking Face"

That's what I told a friend years and years ago during a most unpleasant stretch of time in college. I actually don't remember the exact string of events, but I remember they culminated in me taking on an office chair.
The result was a handful of splinters.
That's it.
And I immediately went out and got a pack of smokes. I'd lasted a week? 5 days?
Regardless, on that first drag I felt all of my calm returning - flooding back into me. My harmonious existence had been restored. I looked at him and said, "If I ever try and quit again, punch me in the fucking face."
"Gladly," he said.
We both nodded knowingly and I went through the pack in 4 hours.
Now, what I think is 13 years later, I'm on that path again, and he's somewhere in the wilds of Pennsyltucky, unavailable for the required knock to the noggin.
My doc gave me the run-down on this shit and warned me about the vivid dreams. I laughed and explained that I used to do... well, I lived hard around the end of my college career and for a bit right after. I explained that lived hard enough for myself, him, his nurse, and a few others.
He laughed, gave me my scrip, and hooked me up with a $30-off card (the shit is $131.99).
I took the first pill last night.
Strange disconnection.
A bit of dizziness.
Some drowsiness.
Fitful sleeping.
But, I noticed last night that that a few hours after taking the pill - and this may be all in my head - cigarettes tasted differently. They were flat, unsatisfying, and well... meh. They weren't bad, really, but they just weren't... I dunno.
I love my Camel Lights, but these tasted like Merits, or... I dunno... something bland.
Another 4 or 5 days and I actually stop the smoking.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Long Overdue

As in, an update.

There are quite a few things that have been recently set into motion, but I'm reticent to mention them openly online for the time being. Suffice to say that there is change in the wind - good change.

So, being as how a few years ago I was not a 14 year old girl, I never really got sucked into the whole MySpace thing. Sure, I set up a profile, but it was for no other reason that I enjoyed searching through the piles of horrendous profiles for the few photographic gems.
I've got to say, there are few things worse than MySpace profiles. Years ago there was a website (and I'm too lazy to search for it now) that was dubbed 'The Worst Website in the World.' The gist of the thing was that it was "written" by a trailer park kid who was maybe 15? 16?
Horrible shit.
Terrible layout, flashing text, frightening pictures, bad midi background music that looped in a somewhat... well, spastic way.
And 95% of all MySpace profiles are worse.
They grate on your nerves - not in a figurative sense, mind you, but it's an actual physical sensation of a tiny rasp slowly sliding across exposed nerve endings - the metal teeth gently digging in and scraping the sensitive cells, pulling them away from the body until they snap back into place with such an exquisite searing pain, like so many tiny rubber bands snapping relentlessly against your scrotum.
And then there's Facebook.
No real profile manipulation/personalization.
No background music.
No sparkles following your mouse pointer.
But addictive.
So addictive.
I hate My Little Green Patch, but still I accept the plants and the tiny little flower people (god how I'd like to see them wilt under some Agent Orange).
I hate My Little Sea Patch, but still I accept the fish and coral (again... to see the water churned up by jet skis and reddened by chum would be delightful).
I love Mob Wars and cannot stop Fighting, Drug Smuggling, etc etc etc.
I hate the Old Layout and Love the New Layout - fuck all of you dinosaurs that fear change.

Alas... I'm hooked.