Thursday, October 30, 2008

Eek! A Socialist!

A friend recently posted some Thomas Jefferson quotes on Facebook. I thought they were rather pertinent to the current political climate, so... have some TJ:

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs."
-TJ, 1802 letter to his Sec Tres.

"We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. We must make our election between economy and liberty or profusion and servitude. If we run into such debt, as that we must be taxed in our meat and in our drink, in our necessaries and our comforts, in our labors and our amusements, for our calling and our creeds...[we will] have no time to think, no means of calling our miss-managers to account but be glad to obtain subsistence by hiring ourselves to rivet their chains on the necks of our fellow-sufferers... And this is the tendency of all human governments. A departure from principle in one instance becomes a precedent for[ another]... till the bulk of society is reduced to be mere automatons of misery... And the fore-horse of this frightful team is public debt. Taxation follows that, and in its train wretchedness and oppression"
-TJ, 1816 letter

"I hope we shall... crush in its birth the aristocracy of our
moneyed corporations, which dare already to challenge our
government to a trial of strength and bid defiance to the laws of
our country."

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Political Science

So, let's get honest here. Fuck the poor.
Really. Fuck 'em.
I don't care about that black single mom working at 7-11 who has two kids, no health insurance, and is living paycheck to paycheck.
Fuck her.
Fuck her kids.
Fuck her kids' futures.

And fuck that redneck working at some lumber factory slicing boards.
Who gives a fuck if that factory is failing.
Who gives a fuck if he is about to lose his job and won't be able to support his family.
Fuck him.

I am all for Capitalism.
Capitalism is God's system of economics.
It's the only Right and True system of figuring out who is the Purest and Best in our society. We should help those at the top. They made it there by the Grace of God and they should be rewarded with lower taxes as they will obviously turn around and invest those savings in new jobs.

But now there's a politician that is saying we should CARE about those less fortunate? Fuck that. Fuck him. Fuck the Weak. Fuck the Ones Who Can't Help Themselves. He wants Redistribution of Wealth! He Wants Socialism!


Redistribution of wealth... wait... isn't that... well, isn't that the same as taxes? Isn't that what taxes are meant to do? Take a little bit of money from everyone and turn that tax into funding for the government? And wouldn't it be better if the government took a proportionally fair amount from each person?

But he's a Socialist! You know what... maybe, just maybe... well, we're doing a shitty job looking after one another maybe the government should step in. Maybe we should be a Better Society and try to push back against our baser nature. Maybe we should start to Care...

Maybe... just maybe... we should look beyond the moment (liblub)...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Digital Prowess, Thy Name is Rob

to s****
date Sat, Oct 18, 2008 at 10:03 AM
subject Your Ticketmaster Order (**********)

Thank you for purchasing tickets on Ticketmaster.

Your order number for this purchase is **********.

You will receive your tickets via: UPS Delivery - All orders will be fulfilled and shipped two (2) weeks prior to the show - not available to PO Box addresses. PO Box orders will be shipped via Priority Mail at same rate.

We'll email you when your tickets are printed and about to be shipped.

You purchased 2 tickets to:
Phish - 3 Day Event Package
Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, VA
Multiple Dates and Times
Order for: Rob S*****
Seat location: section GENADM
Total Charge: US $ 364.50

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

We Shall Overcome...

Phish Tickets Tue, Oct 14, 2008 at 5:45 PM
We regret to inform you that you did not get the tickets that you requested through Phish Tickets.

Please note that your card was not charged and all billing info will be deleted from our system.

You will have another chance to purchase tickets on the public on-sale date for each show. For specific on-sale information please see below or refer to the tour dates section at

Tickets will be available Saturday, October 18 at 10:00AM Eastern here:

3.06.09 Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, VA
3.07.09 Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, VA
3.08.09 Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, VA

This e-mail was sent from 5391 Three Notched Road, Crozet, VA 22932.

Huh? Wha-?

I awoke Sunday morning in restraints.
My eyes were open, but everything was dark, hazy, indistinguishable.
My body was cramped.
My head hurt.
And the sound of an on-coming train kept getting louder and louder.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Urinary Complications

I love my girl.
I do.
And I love the fact that she's so incredibly thoughtful. For example, she was at Big Lots the other day (one of her few sick, dark, and insidious obsessions/addictions) when she saw a sale on men's knit boxers.
She bought me a pack.
So far, everything's cool here.
I don't think about things like that. Really... I could be wearing boxers held together by ass grease and two threads and it's highly unlikely that I will (a) notice or (b) give a shit.
There is something to be said, though, in slipping on a pair of brand new knit boxers. It's like a soft yet crisp feeling t-shirt for your gennies.
Truly, a wondrous feeling, indeed.
BUT... you MUST remember that these are NEW boxers.
They are not like your old boxers.
Unless you get the exact - EXACT - same brand, you must beware your muscles' memory.
If you have been in a meeting lubricated with flowing thermii of coffee and carafes of OJ, the likelihood is high that by the end of the 2 hours, you will need to urinate - nay, PISS.
And you will get to the urinal.
And you will unzip your fly.
And the torrent of yellow will begin flowing through the necessary escape tubes.
And your hands will go to unbutton the boxers.
And you will not find the button.
Suddenly, in that split instant, you are caught between fumbling desperately for an opening to your clothes whilst your by-products are flooding your insides, rushing to the only opening possible with great vigor and reckless abandon.
You will whimper.
You will realize that in a hummingbird's heartbeat you will be soaking first your boxers and next your pants.
A lesser man than I would not have been quick enough to yank the business end out in time.

The moral of the story is: Know your buttons.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Four and One

Someone pull the Bandwagon out of the garage.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

All Hail the Mothership

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