Thursday, August 21, 2008

A New Hope...


Ever since I saw your glowing, angelic face I knew.
I would always, always love you, Allison.
You are my everything.
From hereon out, this blog is all about you, and only you, my sweet. Together we'll go through allt he highs and lows that 48 minutes of television can deliver.
Our relationship may only be one episode long, but it will feel like a life-time.
Keep checking back, my dearest...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Sites Not Safe for Work... or General Viewing Whatsoever.

I need to keep this list updated, so I'll throw it on my Facebook, as well. Anyhow, horrific sites you should not visit.


www.SwollenTip.com
www.MeatSpin.com
www.MotherMan.com
www.PressureSpot.com
www.SwollenTip.com
www.MudFall.com
www.cakefarts.com
www.lemonparty.org
www.fingerslam.com

I know you are going to cut and paste these into your browser, anyway. Keep in mind, though, that these sites are fucking horrendous and SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED AT WORK unless it's your last day at that particular job, of course...

Sunday, August 10, 2008

How Not to Catch a Fish

This is incorrect:


In fact, it is so wildly incorrect that it will actually be somewhat painful where the word "somewhat" means "really fucking."

What's even worse is when you are fishing at a tiny farm pond a mile off the main road and reached via a rutted, bumpy, rock-strewn "road."
And the nearest emergency room is 15+ miles away.
Yeah, emergency room - you try and keep your composure while trying to pry a fully embedded barbed treble hook from your own finger. Actually, let's see if you have a sense of humor and a light attitude after you've had a lure hanging from your finger by a deeply embedded hook and a foot-long bass hanging from the lure. It fucking sucks.
Trust me on this.
You know what sucks more?
The fucking tetanus shot in my arm.
I can't lift my arm almost 36 hours after the injection.

So, yeah, emergency room.
And I left with nothing but a band-aid on my finger. Sad, huh?


On a happier note:
Go Skins!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Technical Support

It's what I do.
Well, yeah. I was going to try and spin that in a different way, but when it comes down to it, I'm still a phone-jockey for an IT company. Yeah, I do quite a bit more than that - from designing WAN/LAN infrastructure, configuring some pretty cool DR solutions, to designing HUGE AD implementations - but in the end, I answer phone calls from clients and I fix their problems.
Been doing it for years.
And I do it really fucking well.
But... there are some.
Some fuckers....

Ok... his name is "David" from HP, and no... no, his name is fucking NOT "David." Anyhow, "David" was supposed to RMA a part for me on Monday and overnight it out so I could get my client's new server burned in. Guess what?
It's Friday morning.
No part.
No "David."
AND... here's the kicker... see, I'm willing to cut some of these companies a bit of slack when this is not an immediate must-have. I understand the language barrier, I understand the hell that is daily phone-jockeying for callers who are usually not in the best of moods and looking to vent on someone - and venting on someone half a world away is easy to do. I get it that their job is a serious pain in the cock-hole, but....
When I call in with a problem and you transfer me to the proper department, don't hang up on me TWICE. Really...
It ain't good for your image.
And it fucking ain't good for my patience.
Right now there is a frightened Indian HP Tech Support guy furiously googling "Look, cunt, is Rob S----- gonna have to choke a bitch, here?"
Happily, at least the TONE needs no translation and the part is now confirmed to be en route.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Oof.

It's been about a month since the last bullshit post, so let me catch you up on a few things going on.

...

Yeah.
Well, nothing's going on. Right now, I'm vaguely hungover, loaded with 'Monster' energy drink, 32 ounces of coffee, and 4 tabs of Alka Seltzer Wakeup Call. Needless to say, my body is vibrating slightly out sync with the rest of the world. And the epic trip to the shitter about 20 minutes ago...?
Damn... horrific.

I have a ton of pics to post up on Flickr sometime this weekend from the past month. Got some Boonestock stuff, random other things that have amused me, etc etc etc.

Also, the Time has Come.
The first pre-season game is Sunday night at 8pm. Fucking Redskins Football, kids... it's back! This is the time of the year when I start to get giddy, my fiance sighs and accepts the fact that my Sundays are now booked solid, and my beer consumption rises sharply. I've washed the Cooley jersey, I'm going to be framing the S. Taylor jersey for the wall of the 'Man Cave' (god, that name is starting to give me the douche chills), and I'm ready for the goodness to begin.

By the way, if you are a Skins fan and you're not reading Cooley's Blog, you are a waste of life and a disgrace.