Friday, July 17, 2009

The Truck With No Name

You know… I never named my truck. It never really gave me any problems (aside from the horrific alignment that never stayed true or the suddenly fickle air conditioning), but it never got a name.
And now it’s gone.
Last night I drove home my Dodge Magnum R/T.
“Midnight Blue Pearl” is the color… sounds like a Smurf porn act, yeah?
The process of buying the car, however, was not as fun as it could have been, but I made the best of it.
By the time the deal was done, I had talked them down on the price 3 times, got a written guarantee to re-paint the front and rear bumpers, got my trade-in allowance increased by a thousand dollars, and only put down $675.
And somehow… I paid LESS than the blue book on the car.
All said and done – they sold me the car for $4000 less than sticker and gave me $1500 more than what my truck is worth.

Look, I doubt they lost money on this deal, but I certainly came away a lot better than I had expected to and all it took was a combination of the following:

STATEMENT: “Whoever re-painted these bumpers is obviously missing a chromosome, man. You gotta take another $1500 off because that’s what it’s going to cost me to get them fixed.”
RESULT: Another $1000 off the price of the car and a written guarantee that they will re-paint to my specifications.

STATEMENT: “On this appraisal sheet you’ve added 20,000 miles to the odometer on my truck.”
RESULT: Stammering apologies, and the realization on their side that I’m scrutinizing every document.

STATEMENT: “I went to your sister dealership up the road and they appraised my truck for $600 more than you did and that was 4 days ago…”
RESULT: “Well, you know how it is…” No, I don’t. But the anger is bubbling now. Good work.

STATEMENT: “Well, thank you for wasting a combined 4 hours of my life over the past two days. It’s been fun, now give me my keys.”
RESULT: “Wait, wait, wait… let me go talk to my manager.” Of course, you do that… ass.

STATEMENT: “Uhm, what are you doing?” / “Sending text messages and updating my Facebook and Twitter about how this place is fucking me over, actually.”
RESULT: “Look, if you’ll put $675 down, we’ll give you $1500 more on your truck and knock another $1000 off the Dodge.”

Now, you understand the “fucking livid” status update from yesterday and the removal of the picture. I showed him what I was doing as I was doing it and that got the point across that maybe I was a really loud and obnoxious person that would make sure the thousands (read “couple hundred”) people associated with me through the social engineeri-… erm, networking sites would know his name and his dealership’s name. Sure, he didn’t know that I am inherently a lazy bastard that likely would have posted a snide note that would have been ignored by 99% of you, but the threat worked!

So, back to the original gist of this post… Names.

Look, I’m a geek so names for my vehicles have all tended towards geekery in some way, shape, or form (particularly Phish geekery, but I’m open to suggestions). Pictures will be posted on FB and my Flickr, so give it some thought and throw some ideas my way.
If I pick the name you suggest, then you will be rewarded.
That’s right…
A prize! Ooooooooooooooo….

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This may be of interest to you:

This is my boyfriend. He is 22, taken, and named Robert Spidle.

You are both scarily similar.